9/15/16: A Wise Rebuke
It’s easier for me to hear a true, negative comment about myself than it is to tell someone else something negative about him/herself. Don’t get me wrong; I’m not saying that I enjoy hearing negative comments, but if the statements are true, I need to know so that I can improve or apologize or make the necessary changes. What intimidates me is being on the other side of the fence needing to approach someone I care about with a true, constructive criticism about him/her.
I’ve had various experiences with this issue. One person I know almost never hears anything negative from me because I’ve tried it before, and the response is never gracious. Instead of accepting the criticism, this friend always has a comeback to justify the actions or to flip the script back onto me thus dismissing my assessment. Another person took what I said and read into it her own additional meaning, never once acknowledging her complicity.
Proverbs 25:12 says, “Like an earring of gold and an ornament of fine gold is a wise rebuker to an obedient ear” (NKJ). A wise rebuker knows how to deliver a negative message with gentleness and respect. That person only wants to make the situation better, and see you become better too. The only way this kind of awkward conversation can work is if the wise rebuker is dealing with an obedient ear.
If you’re ever on the receiving end of a rebuke, ask yourself:
- How do I respond when someone who cares about me needs to share with me something negative about myself?
- Do I consider the possibility that I indeed could be in the wrong?
- Do I thank that person for his/her observation and ask, “What do you think I could do to make myself a better person in this area?”
- Do I go before God and ask Him to fully reveal this area to me so that He can be glorified in all that I do?
- Do I accept the rebuke and my complicity, or do I react in self-defense as if I’m the one being wronged for even being told?
If you find yourself in the position to be the rebuker, ask yourself:
- Do I pray before I approach someone needing correction, asking God to temper my words and provide the perfect time for the conversation?
- Are my motives pure in even bringing this up? Is this something that has to be said?
- Am I mentioning the problem in order to help my friend be a better person? (Hopefully he/she doesn’t already realize that what they’ve said or done was wrong or hurt others.)
- Am I approaching my friend in love?
A wise rebuke, both delivered and received correctly, makes everything better.
Mission Trip Update! 25 days to go! NOW THERE’S A $1,000.00 MATCHING GRANT! All donations sent between September 1 – September 26 will be matched up to $1,000.00. That means you’ll actually be helping with double the amount you send! I still need $1,800.00 – $2,300.00 for the hotels, food, visas, etc. Please do not hesitate. I really need your financial donations now. Donations so far have covered my air travel and my vaccinations.
The trip has been narrowed down to KENYA and ZAMBIA! I’ve seen the proof of the posters that will be passed out and the billboards that will be placed throughout the cities. I will be teaching at the Leader’s Seminars, encouraging the ladies at the Women’s Seminars, and preaching at the evening crusades. People travel all over the world every day, but it’s my first time and I’m pinching myself being sure it’s all actually real! Thank you in advance! You can give three ways:
- Via Paypal through my ministry website: http://www.lifethatmatters.net. Click “Donate.” [Remember that Paypal charges a 3-4% fee on my end.]
- By check sent to my post office box: P.O. Box 1519, Inglewood, CA 90308
- Via Paypal through the HSBN.tv website. (Be sure to let the network know your donation is for Rev. Sharon Elliott’s Africa trip.)
Links you won’t want to miss:
- Watch Sharon in two shows on The Holy Spirit Broadcasting Network:
- Life That Matters with Sharon Norris Elliott, and
- A View from the Upper Room
from any internet-connected device at www.HSBN.tv.
(Stream current show or view past episodes anytime!)
- Pick up a copies of Sharon’s books for yourself and as gifts for your family members and friends!
- Why I Get Into Trouble link to our eStore: https://www.createspace.com/5131814
- Boomerangs to Arrows: A Godly Guide for Launching Young Adult Children available from Judson Press (http://www.judsonpress.com/product.cfm?product_id=17387),
Boomerangs Videolink: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f2JH_gbinMk
- Power Suit: The Armor of God Fit for the Feminine Frame from New Hope Publishers (http://www.newhopedigital.com/2010/08/power-suit/)
Sharon’s other books still available: