How to View your Spouse

Theologians view the Song of Solomon in different ways. Thank God for people who have the depth of understanding to expound to us the deep truths of the Word of God. However, a simple reading of the book suggests that it is a powerful and beautiful love story between Solomon and the wife he most adored.

King Solomon had 1,000 women in unique relationship with him: 700 wives and 300 concubines. (See I Kings 11:3.) In the Song, we hear from both Solomon and his one most special wife. The chapters rally back and forth, giving us a glimpse into how each feels about the other. It is such a sensual story, rumor has it the Israelites wouldn’t let anyone under a certain age even read it.

Nestled among all the great images the book contains of two people madly in love, is a four-word title Solomon gives this woman. He says it three times in chapter four: “my sister, my spouse” Song of Solomon 4:9, 10, and 12 (NKJ). Solomon uses the Hebrew word “achowth” (aw-khoth’) which translates “sister.” He is using it not to indicate a familial relationship as if she were born to his parents, but to say she is someone together with him. She’s like him. He uses the word “kallah” (kal-law’) for “spouse” which does mean “a bride,” however, it’s interesting that this word comes from the root “kalal (kaw-lal’) which means “to make perfect, to complete.” So, in calling his beloved “my sister, my spouse,” Solomon is elevating her to the closest relationship possible besides the one he has with God. He sees this woman as knit together with him so closely as to make him perfectly complete.

Husbands, do you view your wife this way? Wives, do you get the sense that your husband views you like this? Singles, are you living in such a way as to attract and submit to this kind of relationship? From the beginning, God meant for the wife to complete the husband in just this way. Genesis 2:18 and 22 state, “And the LORD God said, ‘It is not good that man should be alone; I will make him a helper comparable to him.’ …Then the rib which the LORD God had taken from man He made into a woman, and He brought her to the man” (NKJ).

This is the ideal. A husband who views his wife as both sister and spouse will see her as his completion. He’ll speak to her and of her tenderly, and treat her with gentleness, compassion, and esteem. There will always be a twinkle in his eye when it comes to her. A wife viewed by her husband in this way will know it – she’ll feel it – and she’ll respond with respect toward him, treating him with tenderness, kindness, and reverence.

Is this your marriage today? If not, why not? Somebody is not humbling himself or herself before God. Husbands, you are on the hook to make this a reality in your home, whether you judge that she deserves such treatment or not. You are not her judge; you owe God this obedience. Wives, you are on the hook to treat your husband with reverence even if he is “unreverencible” at the moment. You are not his judge; you owe God this obedience. If you’re living tit-for-tat, you’re operating as whining, spiritual babies. What are you doing that makes it difficult for your spouse to either love or respect you? Is it spiritual immaturity, pride, unforgiveness, or a host of other things God despises?

The bottom line of the key New Testament passage on marriage sums it up: “However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband” Ephesians 5:33 (NIV).


©2010 Sharon Norris Elliott. Feel free to forward this devotion in its entirety, including this copyright line. Leave comments, ask questions, read past devotions, or subscribe to receive these devotions daily in your e-mail at

REMINDER: Remember to study your Bible regularly. At any time of the day or night, log on to and click the podcast. Increase your knowledge of the Word as you study the Bible with Sharon’s weekly A Heart for the Word devotion and daily study guide.


~ by sanewriter on September 3, 2010.

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